Finances are considered the number 1 cause of divorce!
Marriage can be hard work! Add to it raising kids and of course the cost of day-to-day life, couples are finding themselves in this never-ending cycle of financial troubles.
It’s not easy taking care of the family needs, house, bills and especially if you are on one salary. It’s not that easy to get a job today and even if you do the pay is just so low and it ends up costing you more than what you earn in the end.
Below are some simple ways how you can stop fighting with your spouse when it comes to money:
Talk about your spending style – Oftentimes one person in the relationship is a spender, while the other is a Scrooge. It’s important to be honest about your spending style and have an open discussion about what your core values are in terms of money. At 30, one of you may be thinking about saving for retirement, while the other is wanting a luxury vacation every year or more things in the house.
Start a monthly budget – It’s important to know how much is earned doing the month, how much has to be spent on the mortgage or rent, bills. How much you need for food, you kids, and what are the extras that are most likely not a priority or needed at all. Develop a monthly budget and stick to it. Try to put money into savings every paycheck, and have some for the emergency fund.
Make your finances a team work – It’s not good to only let one person deal with finances, bills, accounts. Chances are even if that person is doing all the best and on budget, the other will think how money are spent without really knowing where they are going. (Example: My husband works and I’m at home. With three kids it’s not easy to pay rent, bills and food and have much leftover. However my husband just brings money and leaves me to work it out. Most months he accuses me of overspending, or spending where it shouldn’t have been spent… He never sits down to actually see that all of the money are mostly spent on bills, our rent, and on food, the necessary food….). Not knowing where the money goes can break out many fights between spouses, and leave them accusing each other, because they are not working together to see and know where each dollar goes.
Set some limits for both of you – There is no need to ask your spouse for each coffee you buy, but you should have the budget you can spend on coffee and such per month. This goes for both of you. That way you’ll know how much you have for the month, and you wouldn’t go over.
Set a day in the week when you are talking about finances – Instead of nagging or arguing about money every single day, set a time to talk about it on a weekly basis. During the weekly meeting, you can air any concerns and set up a game plan to conquer any issues.
Pay bills automatically – One of the best ways to stop fighting about money is to automate as many of your bills and payments as possible. There won’t be a need to fight about why the gas bill didn’t get paid, if you both know it’s being deducted from your bank account every month on the 1st.
Get out of dept and stay out of it – Debt is a huge burden. Part of your budget should include a plan on how to get out of debt. And if you get out of it, try not to get in-depth again.
Set some money for entertainment – Many couples end up breaking their budget because they don’t set aside money for entertainment. They end up spending anyway, creating a shortage in other areas. Be sure to set aside a nominal amount of money for weekly entertainment.
Don’t blame rather focus on the solution – With money issues, tempers can flare and often times people say things that they regret. Focus on solutions, rather than mistakes and blame.
Ask for professional help – If you find at the end of each month, that you are going further and further into debt instead of getting out of it, don’t be afraid to find help. Talk to a financial consultant to get a professional, educated perspective on your money situation and develop a course of action. Better sooner than later, especially if you are still on the good terms with your spouse with your finances. A financial consultant can help you develop a realistic spending and saving plan.